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Post by Admin on Jul 5, 2023 0:00:19 GMT
Title -'Come get me'  I'm always waiting for someone, that one monster, to come 'get me', but as of now, they don't show up, maybe cause they think I'm the one who's the monster...who knows.
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Post by Admin on Jul 19, 2023 1:00:44 GMT
there's so many things that can trigger different moods within you.
Even just hearing your neighbor slam the door hard, can throw off your mood.
My mood is best when I'm at peace, when I don't know any one else in the world exists but me.
I like peace and quiet, I hate hearing other peoples music, or them move around, or dogs barking, loud train horns, I just enjoy peace.
But not sure how much longer I'll have it, cause everything depends on your income.
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Post by Admin on Aug 3, 2023 3:23:02 GMT
My mood is odd right now, being sober for a week, I suddenly have all this energy, and well, not sure where it's taking me
My mind is coming back, sort of, I don't know, being sober, and having so much energy again, I don't know.
I just wanna walk away from a lot of things I was, have been, wasting my time on.
Mainly stuff online, websites, podcasting ect, what a waste of time and none of it has ever yielded me anything.
It's like I've been playing in a big sandbox all by myself.
I've been off for 5 days and feel refreshed and somewhat healed.
That and talking to my Mother again, years and years would go by where we wouldn't talk, which probably made me not care about my drinking beer, when off from work.
I don't know, life is odd, life, our experiences in it, with ourselves, is always changing.
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Post by Admin on Aug 18, 2023 4:04:16 GMT
Hard to explain my mood right now.
I do know I've lost a lot of interest in the internet, social sites, commenting, ext.
I don't really want to save the world anymore or those in it, probably cause I don't have a relationship with 'them'.
Everyone is like a whole world, or religion, or society within themselves.
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:09:14 GMT
As of late, I feel socially lost, internally different, out of place, as if I just don't even belong on this planet anymore.
I sarcastically even asked 'God' 'Hey God, why did you even bother sending me here to the planet earth if I fit in no where?'
And I'm no longer into online stuff...it's such a waste of time to me now.
Here, this place, and others like it, are pretty much my only social media at the moment.
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:14:15 GMT
I no longer feel like things are going to work out the way I wanted them to.
I feel like I'm just bidding my time until things hit the fan....but maybe we all are.
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:16:13 GMT
I feel like it was just predestined for some people to have good wonderful lives, and for others to have terrible lives, regardless of character or morals one holds.
Seems some, or maybe many, terrible people do well, become judges, ect, while others, good people, no matter how good they are, just seem destined to suffer in this world.
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:17:24 GMT
I mean, if you know, have accepted the fact that you've lost, than what do you do with your remaining time while alive?
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:19:41 GMT
I mean, if you know, have accepted the fact that you've lost, than what do you do with your remaining time while alive?
Even if a bad person turns to religion, they're still bad, only now they feel god is on their side. |
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:22:47 GMT
One of the things that used to give me hope is that I just felt everyone was good, I was wrong, everyone is not good, in fact, most people are mentally bent, even those in positions of power or authority.
There are many with personality disorders who are federal judges, D/A's, cops, nurses, Doctors, scientists and so forth.
Even billionaires can be mentally insane, only no one cares cause they have so much money.
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Post by Admin on Sept 3, 2023 3:23:49 GMT
I feel I have no where to turn for 'good' anymore.
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Post by Admin on Sept 18, 2023 20:38:21 GMT
I've created my own hellish reality, or so it seems  Not sure what to do about it, I haven't the mental enthusiasm to leave my own hellish realm.
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Post by Admin on Sept 29, 2023 4:04:12 GMT
Rumble Fish  One of the coolest movies ever, to me, it's so abstract. It's done in black and white, and the way the movie uses shades, and contrasting dark and light, and not to mention Matt Dillan was at his stunning prime, or near it. Amazing how a movie can be so ahead of it's time, and that no other movie like it has really been produced since. Watching it on amazon. The love Matt (not character name) had for his older brother, and their Father was a drunk, talk about dysfunctional, but they all accepted each other, life 'as is'. It's a beautiful movie to me, very poetic movie. I feel like I'm going through that crap now, but in a different way of course, and with maybe the older brother in this movie actually being my past, or what I wish 'was', but isn't, and then in the movie his brother goes away, dies, which maybe represents all my dreams I had for this world...who knows, I just know I like the movie and can relate to it (I'm sure millions of others can as well, in their own ways)(I'm not so conceited as to think the movie only talks to me, lol) Anyways, it's late, but like the characters in this movie, I've been adrift as of late, not really knowing my place in this world anymore.
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Post by Admin on Sept 30, 2023 5:01:32 GMT
I feel like, as of late, that I'm just fading away without having any impact on the world I was born in, or into.
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Post by Admin on Oct 1, 2023 4:52:43 GMT
The art of 'calm', is an interesting art form.
Calm, will keep you healthy, or at least healthier.
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