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Post by Admin on Apr 19, 2021 1:23:45 GMT
What purpose do I have now that over the age of 50?
I struggle with 'purpose' right now, now that over the age of 50.
In the past so interested in aviation, but now?...nah, that 12 gran to get private pilots license could be better used now (is how start thinking when older)
New motorcycle?...nah, what if I wreck (is how you start thinking when older)
New or newer sports car?..hmm (please no, can't think of bigger waste of moneY)
Go back to school, online college?..(for what, who'd hire me with new skill at my age?)
Invest in stock exchange?...(why, when dead dead, may as well spend money I have now, now)
And so forth...is how you begin to think as you age, and reach the age of 50 and above.
Seriously though, I need purpose in my life.
Dating?...that always works, a female/male, romantic fling will always make you feel 19 again, but the trick is being able to meet 'that one person'.
Or is dating old school now, and is it best to just have 'flings?'...who knows.
The super wealthy don't think about this stuff, but the working class, check to check over the age of 50 do.
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Post by Admin on May 23, 2021 18:50:29 GMT
Off, yet bored as all can be
Off work today yet board and mind as bland as all can be.
Sure I'm over the age of 50, but may as well still be 23 living in some basement all alone, I failed to make friends along the way, I failed to establish self socially along the way, failed to join clubs, groups, this and that, and as a result I'm like 50 + going on 24.
In fact my life had a lot more meaning back then then it does now, at least back then still had ties to the past, still had ties to family and all, now, today, it's all gone, time and the future as just proven for me to be a errosion of things I once valued and made life fun to live.
Not much else to say on that, just if younger, learn from what you read on here if want a more meaningful life as you age.
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Post by Admin on May 26, 2021 7:17:37 GMT
If you made it to the age of 50 and are reading this consider yourself lucky or fortunate
It's not easy achieving the age of 50, especially if a male, even more harder, so if 50 and above, and male and reading this, you're a rare breed.
That being said, I still feel like I'm 16 and living in parents house...Oh I could only so much wish that were the case.
Life is or can be cruel, I mean why can't 'god' give us two rounds instead of just one round of life?
The longer I live, the less things make sense.
Including history and how radically people, a society can change, whether for the better or worse.
But right now just feel like watching a movie, any movie.
And with that goodnight all.
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Post by Admin on May 29, 2021 17:43:21 GMT
It's my day off It's my day off, big woopdi doo. My last shift so long and exhausting and didn't get in until like 3 am, that just woke up an hour ago and feel 'flat'...that's what work does for you after a while, just leaves you feeling 'flat' on the inside. And after the age of 50, this idea that working hard is still good for you or that will make you a better person, or rich, just falls on dead ears as reality begins to kick in. There will be no fancy retirenment or big retirnment package, non of that, unless I buy a fancy multi room tent and join the ranks of the homeless..  www.canvascampingtents.com/6160-Kodiak-Canvas-Grand-Cabin-26x8-12-Person-Tent-_p_56.html?utm_campaign=product&utm_source=microsoftcpc&utm_medium=cpc Heck, these 'Kodiak' grand tents may be my future home, for real, these tents have like multi rooms and all, like a house..hmm Hell if had land I'd move in one right now, as long as had electricity, and internet. That's the thing, to move into a tent now and save mass money on rent, I'd need internet, and electricity, a generator could solve the electric issue, but internet connection a whole different story. Man/Woman, anyone, while alive shouldn't have to spend every freagin single dime they make on rent or morgage, what a evil system the 'West' has devised.
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Post by Admin on May 31, 2021 7:30:32 GMT
Always need fans blowing in the background  I'm the type that always needs a fan blowing in the background, while indoors, I always need to feel the sound and feel the sound of air moving, flowing over and past my body. Not only that but the ambient sound of fan or fans, just mutes out the outside noise, and is very soothing. I'm just a fan type of person are you? And with that goodnight.
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Post by Admin on May 31, 2021 18:43:40 GMT
Time to 'wake up' and do something now. I don't really get going until after 3 pm do to work schedule, so when off work, body still follows same sleep cycle. To get self going, I usually have to start by making a 'list' of things to do, I usually start with around 5-6 things, and I use the rolling of dice to randomly pick which item on list to perform. Example 1. clean kitchen, dice roll = 3 2. clean hallway, dice roll = 2 3. sign into online class, dice roll = 6 4. Prepare rent payment, dice roll = 3 5. create gif, dice roll = 4 6. create foot gif, dice roll = 4 7. clean living room, dice roll = 2  And so it's done, I guess I'll be logging into online class I'm taking but a few weeks behind on (have six months to complete, go at own pace) Oh well, let me get started, doesn't seem like I've matured much since high school, some times I think I was more mature back then and took life more seriously |
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Post by Admin on Jun 16, 2021 3:12:21 GMT
It sucks being a blue collar older type, is why even now trying to transition into a different career path soon
When blue collar, you ability to earn a income 100% depends on your health and vitality, once that goes...well.
So even at barely over 50, although still act like I'm age 19, and feel 25, I realize I need another career path soon that will allow me to earn income even if in a wheelchair one day.
And no, not talking the money market 'day trade' stuff, although looked hard at that a while ago.
My problem is is that I just don't worship money, you have to love money to make money, and I just do not.
What I do love and value is peace, quiet and time.
I don't need to be rich, I just need peace, quiet and time, a job or career where have more days off, at home, than working in the field.
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2021 14:31:32 GMT
Sometimes it can be less stressful not caring and not knowing
That may sound odd to some, but knowing, and caring = a ton of stress.
I'm someone who has spent much of my adult life alone, on the outside of everything, including family, as such a very keen observer of my emotions and feelings.
Recently made yet another attempt to 'get back in' with certain family, and I don't feel as jubilant as I thought I would, if anything I feel a bit drained. (I could be reading my emotions wrong right now)
In other words I had already made my 'peace', figuring I'd never see certain people ever again, so I made my peace, like you would after or before a funeral, then learn said person, people, ect, are alive (speaking metaphorically), well now that means here comes all the emotions again, the caring, the concern and more, the dealing with personalities and moods, the accountability, and all that can be stressful if not managed right.
And comes the 'roles'.
When single and alone, and not in contact with anyone, there is no 'role' to fulfill, you're simply whatever you have to be to self to survive, physically and emotionally.
But the more people that are back in your life, then kind of the more accountable you have to become again, as far as roles others expect you to play or be.
And everyone wants you to fit some kind of tiny role they see you as, and if you don't, you break 'norm'.
And so what it does is kind of 'shrink you'.
And I'm not sure if I want to 'shrink' at this stage of my life.
No one was there for me for decades, so why should I shrink now for those who were never there for me to begin with?...is what I ask myself.
I don't know, it's complicated...it is and it isn't.
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2021 14:34:48 GMT
continued from above
I guess what I'm trying to say is the less people you have in your life, the less people you have to worry and be concerned about, which means very little if any stress.
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Post by Admin on Jun 20, 2021 14:45:29 GMT
I mean it's not like those back in my life are my own muffins are anything, that's totally different if that were the case, rather those back in my life are extended family, and maybe some old friends from way back, maybe like a nephew and his son, and a few others, but I don't feel as happy as I thought I would, when drunk I did, but now that sober, having them sort of back in my life doesn't make me feel happier at all, just a bit more stressed, but not happier, but again, emotions, like all else, is about averages, so I'll have to see how I feel about it all next week, or even later today, cause that's how quick emotions, moods, can change.
Plus I just got up, so early morning groginess probably effecting my mood as well.
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Post by Admin on Jul 18, 2021 3:46:30 GMT
Social media feels like a very unfun, hostile place these days
When you get onto social media now days, it feels more like you're entering a old Soviet Union gulog camp, or however spelled.
Where everyone walks around nervously not knowing who could be a spy, and afraid of misspeaking out of fear of someone calling you out to the gulog guards.
That's just how social media feels now, it feels very hostile, politically hostile, and then the White House spokes person all but admitted the other day that this administration uses social media to spy on people, it colludes with social media, which then makes social media pretty much a state ran platform, are you kidding me?
I remember the early days of social media were totally anti government, and people went there to, if anything, hide, not anymore, not it's like social media is the Government, and in a way glad Trump taking them to court over the whole '232' editorial status vs platform status exemption they've been given, cause social media certainly not a platform anymore when all they do is edit and censor posts and accounts of those they don't favor, and if it's found that they, social media, working on behalf of the Government, than Trump will really have a case.
I mean, as Mark Levin suggested, if indeed it was the Democrats who told social media to ban Trump, than wow..can't wait for trial to begin and 'discover' part of trial to begin when people have to tell the truth under oath.
All that aside though, social media has been ruined by big money and politics, it's just not fun anymore and the people on there aren't very fun anymore either.
My generation though, will forever remember the early days of social media, when it was like the wild wild west, and it was so exciting to mingle with others from around the nation or world.
But sadly, it was only a matter of time before people exploited that.
Also, once google and others came along, and started corralling the free flow of information, nothing you post on social media gets out like it use to, cause twitter, google search ect, they all control your reach, big tech, sure they started social media, but they've also ruined it.
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Post by Admin on Jul 18, 2021 3:56:44 GMT
Any why are those in the tech world so sleezy?
I mean literally sleazy, they'd make many on the streets seem tame actually with some of the behind the scenes sleazy things they're asked to do by their companies.
Like how it's hard to even watch a movie now without streaming it, so they can 'study you' while you watch, more and more new laptops aren't being made with DVD players, and those who do have them, have to download app for it to work, then of course app always loads way more stuff on computer than need or want, again, sleaze.
It would be like in real life inviting someone into your house through front door, while 20 of their friends slip through the back door, and that's how many apps work when you download on your phone or PC.
I've just never seen a industry that so lacks ethics.
They don't care, no matter how rich, it doesn't matter, the plots and ploys to get more from 'you', users, consumers, just never ends.
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Post by Admin on Aug 23, 2021 20:01:12 GMT
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Post by Admin on Aug 28, 2021 1:43:42 GMT
I am still here, spreading self very thin though, but life goes on, trudges on, although must admit, even for me, I think we're living through some very odd times right now, as control freaks seek to use 'covid' to control others and pass mandates and all.
This era of politicians really do scare me, it's like they've sold their soles.
And today's 'liberal' isn't even your 1980's freedom loving Liberal, back in the 80's, liberals were against big corporations, today, with the 'Uber' rich and twitter and FB tech types, now today, Liberals all for big tech and going along with the status quo, and now it's conservatives who are the ones for being independent and left alone, odd how things shift over time.
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Post by Admin on Aug 28, 2021 4:29:23 GMT
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