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Post by Admin on Oct 11, 2024 18:36:56 GMT
In a few days I've gotta take a long cross country trip.
I hate traveling by air, I really do.
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Post by Admin on Oct 23, 2024 1:54:39 GMT
At a very hard juncture in my life's path.
I told myself, about a year ago, I never wanted to ever again be stuck, while still alive....meaning a slave to the system, meaning at the mercy of the system, meaning having to pay high rent, thus having to work a job I despise in order to pay that rent.
I did that for years, it's meaningless, unless have a family you're raising.
But if single, it's meaningless just to work just to work just to pay bills while saving absolutely nothing.
Where the only time your checking account grows is during tax season when you get a refund.
I can't do that no more.
My options are as follows
1. Just up and move.
Sometimes you just have to up and get the hell out of a place and change environments completely in order to find new motivation. It's never an easy thing to do, especially when older.
2. Buy a used RV, travel trailer, etc, and live out of it.
RV lot rents aren't a low as they used to be, but can still save money with an RV more so than paying rent, but have to get used to living on the 'lamb' for a while and doing without certain comforts...for sure.
Having a RV will help me never to feel 'trapped' by the system. And with homelessness rampant in many cities and towns, often times if find the right spot to camp, can do so for free while continuing to work full time or part-time and saving up for some land or school or this or that.
All an expensive apartment does, at my age, is eat up what's left of my dreams, money, cash.
3. Stay where I'm at and take one more risk and start my own online business...if it works, great, if not, it'll just be one in a long list of other things I've tried and failed at, only if I fail at this, I'm back to being a slave. Can I live with that??
It's a total gamble.
The money I'd spend to hire a professional web designer is basically the same amount it would cost me to move coast to coast using a U-Haul, and or 3 months worth of rent, and or any other emergency that might come up.
Life is no fun when you've depleted your savings, and the clock starts a ticking.
I just can't go forward working any ole job anymore that sucks up all my time, where I come home to grouchy to want to do anything meaningful, and more months, years, just fly by while I accomplish absolutely nothing.
4. could always just go live in someone's room, smaller space, for around 6oo.oo, doesn't make sense to pay much more than that for a room.
Decisions decisions...there is no right decision, and that's what makes it so hard...cause with each decision comes so many other variables to consider or that could happen outside of your, my, our, control.
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I just know when always rushed for money, it totally robs me of my creative side, if all I'm thinking about is a pay check and paying this or that bill, it just kills your spirit, you come home, and all you want to do is drink to escape the pain of a lousy life.
I don't want to go back to that.
And I'm old enough to realize just wishing for something, a good outcome, and or praying that 'God' will give you the good outcome you want doesn't guarantee anything...at least not for me.
Either way, I've gotta make a decision here soon, within days, or I'll be stuck here for another 6-7 months which = 7 thousand dollars minimum in rent and expenses, then what?
It would help if I wasn't alone, and had someone to plan with, but I don't.
And if I fall, no one will give a sht, I mean no one, if anything they'll quietly cheer.
Sometimes it's why it's easier for me to make big decisions when drunk, cause you just do it, and then have to deal with it later.
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Post by Admin on Oct 31, 2024 5:52:03 GMT
Well, it's Halloween, Oct 31st...wow.It's late at night or early in the morning, depending on how you see it. I see it as being very late at night, since I haven't gone to bed yet. To me, morning doesn't really begin until after 3 am. That aside, I'm up late, was stupid and drank a few beers earlier, like a fool. I was feeling so good, so full of energy, and just had to go drink some beers. Well, as usual, I never feel better after drinking....always worse. I through out, or set out, what few beers I had in place...I'm done. My life is at a very pivotal point right now...and I need every ounce of my brain, brain cells, to function and can't afford to be drunk right now, and the laziness and that follows being drunk. I need me right now, cause no one else is going to step up...no one. For the next month, I can only give to myself, the nice giving part of me won't be there until I start earning money again. No one, as an adult, has ever helped me, I mean hear and there, long ago, when I practically had to beg for it, but that's been over 15 years ago...I'm on my own now...if I fall, I fall alone...just like a stand alone. Anyways, no more booze, not for a long while. Being sober just feels so much better. Happy Halloween. 
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Post by Admin on Oct 31, 2024 14:58:04 GMT
Thursdays come and go It's Halloween! Even though not having the best of it right now (at least in my own mind) I think I'll go to the store and get a few Halloween masks, to wear through out the rest of the year for funny pictures and all. But if I buy them today, it'll seem normal, if I buy them later, I'll seem odd...lol Anyways, gotta get going...no more booze, at least not for a very long time.
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Post by Admin on Nov 4, 2024 15:40:28 GMT
It's a new day and I've got to fight for myself, for no one else will.
When older, and a male, no one cares about your personal well being....I mean no one.
The only acception is family, if lucky enough to have a strong family unit, cool, you're blessed....but many do not.
America has a hollowed out culture now.
Immigrants, say what you want about them, but they bring 'culture' back into society, may not be a culture I recognize, or am locked out of, but none the less they bring culture and family units.
Something B folks have really never had.
The B culture is basically a fake culture.
It's a survival culture, one the mimics the white culture, is a derivative of the white culture.
To be continued.
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Post by Admin on Nov 4, 2024 17:54:31 GMT
I did go workout, and I feel better.
Paid my storage fee, and stopped by Burger King on the way home.
Hamburger was sliced in half, so I returned it.
I shouldn't be eating that stuff anyhow.
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I still have a lot of day left, the question is can I keep myself motivated?
Can I keep my mood up?
Can I stay focused and get stuff done?
That's the question.
And most importantly, can I get through the day, and the night, without drinking a few beers?
I hope so.
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Post by Admin on Nov 6, 2024 5:24:41 GMT
If the democrats lose, f them, f NPR and CNN and MSNBC...the people have spoken....jerk offs. Go Trump...the people have spoken!! 
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Post by Admin on Nov 6, 2024 5:44:53 GMT
If the democrats lose, f them, f NPR and CNN and MSNBC...the people have spoken....jerk offs. Go Trump...the people have spoken!! |
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Post by Admin on Nov 6, 2024 17:54:21 GMT
Trump may have had a great night, and a better today, but not me...I woke up feeling terrible, do to drinking.
And I'm still poor and desperate...
I'm glad they won, but my own personal woes are just beginning.
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Post by Admin on Nov 11, 2024 5:51:46 GMT
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Post by Admin on Nov 15, 2024 4:37:29 GMT
Guy just shooting the breeze about life
Guy just shooting the breeze about life, life issues, health, Trump, fear, color and more.
Gen X style.
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Post by Admin on Nov 16, 2024 21:58:07 GMT
Paper applications suck, video resumes will be a thing of the future
Reach out now, and learn how you can be among the first to place your VR online.
Don't fall behind the curve.
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Post by Admin on Nov 18, 2024 5:15:16 GMT
Joe Biden is a terrible wicked man for trying to incite a nuclear war with Russia on his way out!
This is sickening.
Right before Trump comes into office to usher peace back into the world, here comes Biden's admin, the wicked demons that they are, trying to incite a nuclear war with Russia that if occurs will get millions upon millions killed and destroyed.
This administration and the deep state that sponsors them are out and right utter monsters.
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Post by Admin on Nov 18, 2024 7:20:15 GMT
Biden administration trying to create WW3, if I were Trump
The Biden admin is bent on getting millions killed by inciting Russia into a nuclear war by allowing NATO to now launch long range missiles into Russia from Ukraine.
If I were President Trump.
1. I would tell the Ukrainian president Zelensky, that if he orders a strike deep within Russias interior at military sensitive area, that once I'm in office, all future aid to be cut off....period.
2. I'd reach out to Putin and tell him to not be lured into war before I get into office where I can broker a peace deal and save many lives.
Now the Biden admin, on their way out, is playing with many lives, but mainly the lives of those nation states bordering Russia.
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