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Post by Admin on Aug 16, 2023 12:39:22 GMT
I'm basically giving myself my own 'in house' detox treatment by staying away from alcohol, mainly beer.
Why spend 10's of thousands of dollars when can do it yourself with sheer willpower.
But that means you have to actually care about yourself, you have to care about life in general.
If you can't hurt another person physically, then why would you hurt yourself?
Life is life, whether your own or another's.
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Post by Admin on Aug 27, 2023 12:54:30 GMT
In the past, this would be a totally 'drink all day' type of day.
Drink, in order to escape.
Drink, and create your own world.
But today, nah, can't do that, today I'm stuck in the world, this world 'as is'.
Just stuck in it, hey, but I can at least have some coffee.
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Post by Admin on Sept 10, 2023 16:04:38 GMT
Sometimes being sober seems pointless to me in this dark world of ours.
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Post by Admin on Oct 8, 2023 16:09:37 GMT
I still drink Bud Light, I could give a whatever  I still drink Bud Light, (actually was never a Bud Light type, but occasionally drink it now when only beer available) Dillan M, means nothing to me, and in no way shape or form affects my drinking habits. I don't care if they're gay, or faking like they're gay or trans...or cross dresser, or Hindu, none of it affects me...so i continue to drink whatever beer I feel like drinking, regardless who are what is on the cover... I'm not that thin skinned like muffin Rock is...
What a immoral sissy punk muffin Rock is in this video, what happened to them??
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Post by Admin on Oct 18, 2023 1:39:23 GMT
There comes a time when self-love will step in and save you from yourself When it comes to destroying your health, either through drinking, substance abuse, or even overeating or eating poorly, when all else fails, if wired right, then usually self-love will step in and save the day, but self-love can be complex, cause often times that self-love depends on who's in your life, or who you want to impress and or not disappoint. If alone, and without hope, than sometimes self-love can be slow to kick in. With me, I don't know if it's so much self-love or me not wanting to let someone down whom I'll be visiting soon, in that I have to be, want to be, at my mental and physical best....and I can't be that if drinking up until the last minute I'm do to visit. Drinking actually makes you look uglier, ya know? Drinking makes your face 'fat', or fatter, and pudgy looking, and skin not as smooth. Anyways, I had enough self-love to stop drinking for the day, or night, just didn't feel right. No longer sure if things will ever work out right, not sure if we were all meant for a fairytale life or ending, probably most of us weren't. And with that being said, happy October, and yes, Halloween is right around the corner.
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Post by Admin on Oct 22, 2023 3:37:41 GMT
Alcohol makes you weak, in more ways than oneI realize now that I'm weak, alcohol has made me very weak and frail on the inside. I used to didn't be that way, sure, youthful zeal had something to do with it, but in general, I wasn't afraid to travel, nor did I really have a comfort zone (And again, that could just be associated with youth, at the time) But I also think, over the last decade or so, or few, since started drinking, it has just made me a weaker person on the inside when sober. Sure, when drunk, I can be like the incredible hulk, in as far as personality goes, but when sober, I often feel so very frail on the inside.  Yes, when sober, confrontations kind of scare me (but only after just stopped drinking, during the early stages or days/weeks of sobriety, but after that my confidence comes back, because when sober for long period of time, I don't say or do things anymore that cause me embarrassment later on. But like the first few days/weeks of sobriety, I just feel so frail and unsure of the world I live in, and those around me.
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Post by Admin on Oct 22, 2023 3:41:47 GMT
Also, when sober, now I realize those whom I thought I wanted in my life, while drunk, well, now I realize I'm better with them not in my life.
Liars, deception, malice, and more, it's people who had those traits that I felt I needed in my life?
Be it family or other?
Hmm, I'm realizing now that I don't need them..(But as soon as I get drunk, I act as if I do, and say stupid things (like at a party or something, but when the party is over, your rarely, if ever, want to see those you partied with again, while drunk)
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Post by Admin on Nov 18, 2023 5:12:25 GMT
I like how I feel, I like my sustained energy level, when not drinking, or drinking as much.
But then that good energy wasted on stupid job, rather on something or an activity I enjoy.
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Post by Admin on Nov 18, 2023 5:13:36 GMT
Very temped to quit my job soon, just not enjoying it anymore, even though only 3 days a week, but I just need a change, life is about change, at least a happy life is...healthy change that is.
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Post by Admin on Nov 18, 2023 5:34:08 GMT
Coming off my vacation I was so happy, now just two days back on the job, and I'm near hating life again.
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Post by Admin on Nov 23, 2023 3:18:50 GMT
The day before Thanksgiving is supposed to be the largest alcohol purchasing day of the year, oddly enough, today, I didn't by any booze I didn't buy any booze today, and hopefully I won't tomorrow, when off, and spending the day alone. I need to straighten my mind up, and drinking during the holidays, especially if and when alone, can be a bad recipe, cause you end up saying a lot of stupid stuff to others over the phone, or through texts, ect. Naugh, this T-day, I just want to be sober, and feel my full range of emotions, good or bad or in between.
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Post by Admin on Dec 31, 2023 15:23:11 GMT
It's new years eve, so what..bah humbug
Yep, 2023 is about to end, so what, it's all the same to me now.
And where I live, new year's eve, mid-night, is just an excuse for local hoodlums to act up and out.
They could care the less about America, living here, the past, none of that matters to them, all they care about is lighting off fireworks all time of the night, guns, violence, drugs, booze, and destroying stuff.
New Years Eve, night, just gives terrible people a chance to be more terrible.
It's getting harder and harder for me to grasp what's good about this world, or the people in it.
(But to be honest, that's more reflective of those I'm around, if around better people, and living in a better place, I'm sure my mood, attitude, would be different)
---------------------------------
That aside, should I booze today or stay sober?
We shall see.
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Post by Admin on Dec 31, 2023 15:24:17 GMT
Sometimes I do wish a virus would be created that would just wipe out _____ _____, then maybe we could all have some peace.
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Post by Admin on Jan 25, 2024 2:21:45 GMT
This is why you shouldn't drink, while working out Don't drink and workout at the same time...good googly moogly!.. 
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Post by Admin on Jan 28, 2024 6:32:12 GMT
 I need to stop drinking for a while, I think body has reached it's limit. I think I over did it last week. Muscle pain came back, lower back was stiff and sore, could barely walk upright and proper do to back discomfort (almost back to normal now) But I just think, know, when drink to much or to many days in a row, body begins to break down. Life is much more fun (even when things are going wrong) when healthy. About twice a year, I just get to that point where I know I must stop drinking. Drinking has cost me a lot, over the years; has revealed a lot to me, but has also cost me a lot as well. |
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