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Post by Admin on Jun 29, 2023 2:42:36 GMT
I notice
1. Drinking beer, as you age, makes your joints not so lubricated, your body will feel more like a rust hinge, probably do to dehydration, is my guess.
I'm like my own lab, but by the time you figure out all the secrets to health, it's time to perish...how sad that is.
The smarter you get, the less time you have to be smart.
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Post by Admin on Jul 9, 2023 0:09:25 GMT
I had a half can of beer, then ust stopped.
Beer, getting buzzed, is only a temporary fix for how I feel.
I don't even think beer an no longer fill the void I feel in my life, only purpose can feel that void, and I need to find that purpose while sober, not drunk.
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Post by Admin on Jul 9, 2023 0:13:22 GMT
I know I have 4 days off, not even counting tonight, and I know I must find a purpose in life, during this time, or who knows, I'll go nuts.
What I feel I really need to do is go to the desert and take a long hike out into the desert, all alone, spend the night, and find myself.
Although desert camping can be brutal, do to the type of bugs that come out at night and scorpions, snakes, ect.
Regardless, I ust feel I need to take a exodus somewhere.
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Post by Admin on Jul 9, 2023 1:47:27 GMT
I stopped drinking, at least this evening, cause I can't help but feel like those who doubted me over the years, those who never supported me, never joined in on my vision of success, ect, I just figure, that's how they probably want me to end up, and that would be an older washed up drinker. For that reason alone, I want to get fit again. I told 'god', (the god in my own mind that is) that if I'm going to die, then I want to die while fit.  |
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Post by Admin on Jul 18, 2023 22:53:08 GMT
 I do feel a bit depressed right now, but am associating it more with drinking than anything else. I drank a lot of beers, the last two nights, and well, that's just to much at my age. It has affected my mood and productivity.. I wasted two days off doing nothing but recovering during the day. But if I didn't drink, 2 nights ago, and get drunk, I would not have had the nerves or drunken spirit to call someone whom I should have called long ago. it's sad though, that sometimes being drunk leads you to do something that if sober, would not have had the guts or mindset to do, do to pride, ego, ect. None the less, in order for good to come out of my behavior a few nights ago, I gotta clean my act up and lay aside the beer for a long while, cause right now I really need my mind and senses to be straight, sound and functioning, otherwise I'm no good to myself or anyone around me that I care about and want to help. |
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Post by Admin on Jul 20, 2023 10:59:33 GMT
When I'm sober, for days, or weeks, I become such a different person, than when I am when drinking.
I become so much more careful, and way more select about whom I reach out to or talk to.
When drunk, I just don't care, as if trying to crash into a wall, but when sober, I try to avoid that hypothetical wall.
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Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 1:55:41 GMT
Trying to go dry again, and well, you know how that is, especially that first week, those first 7 days...if you make it 7 days, it becomes a lot easier.
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Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 1:56:58 GMT
I promised someone I'd be around, and healthy for them, well, I need to keep that promise, keeping promises helps to restore your manhood, your identity, your soul.
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Post by Admin on Jul 22, 2023 2:00:27 GMT
I'm off for 4 days, when not drinking, the most awkward part at first is trying to relax, escape, create that divide between the workday and being off, but doing so without drinking. So you have to learn other ways to create that transition into off time, maybe a shower instead.  |
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Post by Admin on Jul 23, 2023 11:40:32 GMT
I didn't drink last night, but woke up, or lay in bed prior to getting up, with the feeling that I did
The mind is odd, in that even though I haven't drank in about 4 days or longer, I woke up this morning with the feeling that I did.
Cause normally I would have, and so it's like the body so expects you to wake up with that post drinking feeling that it manufactures that feeling automatically.
And I can see how the mind, and addiction go hand in hand.
I'm glad I didn't drink, I even woke up expecting to see beer cans next to the bed, and felt disappointed that I had caved, but then realized, 'wait a minute, I didn't drink last night'..
just odd how the mind works when it comes to addiction, but in this case beer or alcohol.
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Post by Admin on Aug 3, 2023 3:25:18 GMT
Just last weeks, or the past few weeks, I felt like I was about to go over the edge, emotionally, and alcohol was fueling that.
I mean you only go out once, right...and I like felt it was about my time.
But now that have been sober for over a week, I don't know, I'm healing.
I didn't say the world around me was healing, I said I'm healing.
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Post by Admin on Aug 6, 2023 21:04:37 GMT
Haven't had a drink in eleven or so days 11 days...hmm How do I feel? Hmm Not as emotionally pumped up, that's for sure...when sober, I'm way more tempered when at home alone. Sometimes though, I still wake up as if I did drink, still have that 'out of it feeling'....like body just conditioned to feeling that way. But ye, it's Sunday, and still dry after around 11 days...but all it takes is one moment of whatever, and could be drinking a beer again, so I'm not getting cocky at all. Have been through this before and understand the phycology of it all.
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Post by Admin on Aug 6, 2023 21:29:30 GMT
Today, I'm drinking water like it's beer...hmm
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Post by Admin on Aug 7, 2023 2:03:17 GMT
Odd, now that I'm sober, I don't feel like talking to anyone, and quite happy being alone.
That's just odd...🤔
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Post by Admin on Aug 7, 2023 17:32:25 GMT
Well, it's a new day, and as of now I'm still dry.
Sure, going and buying some beer does enter my mind, but then I play out the scenerio as well.
Will feel good and estatic for the first 2-3 beers, but then after that just drinking to not come down.
Not saying I don't have fun with self when drunk, but it's the aftermath that so sucks, the physiological effects it has on your mind, body and mood can be terrible sometimes.
Anyways, as of now, still dry.
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