Alcohol after the age of 50, the good, bad, ugly and truth

Alcohol will really mess you up if not careful, especially when or where relationships involved.
You'll say things you normally wouldn't and reach out to people you have no business talking to and more.

And all you end up doing is hurting yourself, making yourself look like the fool.

I've sorta allowed drinking to get the better of me these last 3 weeks, not every day, just when I'm off, but of course that's when it impacts you the most, makes you lazy, not want to go outside and do the things you said you'd do when working, alcohol just totally wastes your time.

I was doing so well, then just slowly slipped back into the booze trap, just beer, but still even beer can mess you up.
I think I hit my bottom, yesterday, and so ready to go dry again.

Sadly, some of us just have to hit that emotional bottom to where you're in a spot that feels so awful that self love kicks in.
And if have no self love, than you're basically doomed, unless someone else steps in for you.

I tell you one thing, when you stop drinking, you can't be lazy, and better have a active mind to keep you busy with all the new found energy you'll have.

Drinking makes you lazy, that's for sure, cause you drink, get drunk, do a few things, then crash, and sleep away most of the day or night.
But when sober, and or drinking healthy stuff like natural herbal tea, your energy level will be off the charts, and if don't have stuff to keep you busy, you'll go bananas.

Well, I am having a few beers tonight after a long dull grimy shift.

To just come home to nothing, nothing, not a hug, no emotional support, no one to dump your emotions out onto (as couples or even friends do always, it's called socialization), to not have anything, and to just come home to a dry empty place, is just a bit to much for me at times.

And then when sober, you always wonder if you said something in a way that may of hurt someone you genuinely care about.

Time to purge my phone of all phone numbers, that way when I do get drunk I don't call people and make a fool out of myself, people who don't want me in their life anyways.

Time to empty my phone of all numbers.

And if they never call again, means I was never of interest or concern to them anyways.

I think drinking to much can make you paranoid

I came home today from work, feeling very paranoid, as if someone would be waiting to settle a score.
Why did I feel that way?

Probably because I acted out the other two nights in a row, cops even came cause I called 'non-emergency' line, and guess I must of said something that triggered a 'safety check' response...it happened two nights in a row....do to me drinking, which seems to have hit me harder than usual.

I think when you're healthy, alcohol hits you harder, because when healthy, you drink more, cause you don't feel the effects as quick.

I don't know, home now, got to work tomorrow, so that will keep me 'chill'...for now.

I need to go back to not drinking, but I drink out of loneliness, if wasn't lonely, I doubt I'd drink....but still, I need to stop anyways.