50+ blog, journal and thoughts

Like Thanksgiving, I'll be spending Xmas day alone, eating whatever happens to be in the fridge.

I do feel a bit broken right now.
It's a good thing I have 4 days off in a row or I'd quit this job.

Mindless work always leaves me feeling so hollow and empty on the inside.

And in this world, good people don't always win or get ahead, but many well to do crooks most certainly do.

Do I feel like I'm going to make it another year?
Just not sure.

Nor do I feel all sad at the prospect that I may not.

I do know this, if I don't make it, it'll have more to do with me not taking care of myself more so than anything else, is why I realize how important moral is to health.

Will I make it another year?

Who knows, I've already broken many odds just making it this far.

Sometimes you just got to sit still and listen to 'self'.
I'm 50+, and obviously the clock is ticking on my time here on earth, the most rarest of places to be within light years.



but soon my awareness of it all will be gone, and like millions, billions, before me, I'll just vanish into space dust.
And my 'dust' will be reabsorbed into the environment.

And what I did while alive will have mattered not, heck it already doesn't matter.

Anyways, it's a calm day, at least I have that for now.

Don't ever for a moment not think that this world is rigged.

People are power hungry control freaks, and those in power maintain that power by controlling others, not just physically, but psychologically as well.
Its why social media has been hi-jacked by the Government, I mean look at that twitter file case, with Elon releasing all those memos of how Gov teamed up with twitter to oppress free expression.
And twitter is just one place, it's going on at all of them, I mean if they could all get bought out, similar records would come out as well.

But social media is only the latest tool used to suppress people's ability to express themselves.

Before that TV, before that, the radio, and so forth.

There's gate keepers everywhere who determine who's worthy of being heard and who's not.

Just depends on who's in power at the time.

For a while, in the beginning, social media gave common folks a way of circumventing the traditional gatekeepers, but not anymore.
Once social media fiscally blew up, and people learned the value of stats, and information, ect, then the gatekeepers went from Hollywood to Silicon Valley.

Now even people in Hollywood bow to Silicon Valley gatekeepers, who control what gets seen and heard by others.

I never check my phone messages no more for anything.

If someone or a text, ect, isn't in my life to, for a change, help me to prosper, than it's a meaningless call/text/email to me.