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Post by Admin on Mar 14, 2022 13:04:26 GMT
 The only way I'll get anything done today is to go ahead and start working off of the 'to do list'. If I don't create and work off of the to do list, I'll just sit around, lay down, walk around, within place like a zombie. Cause I feel zero motivation to do anything today. |
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Post by Admin on Mar 18, 2022 3:29:20 GMT
It's late, I worked today, but off tomorrow, as such don't have to go right to bed, so I think I'll make a 'to do list', to make the most out of what's left of my awake time.
If I don't make a to do list, I'll just end up spacing off and wasting time.
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Post by Admin on Mar 18, 2022 17:18:12 GMT
Sometimes I just do what keeps me alive, and being alive is more than just breathing.
I do what's fun and easy and instantly rewarding at times (who doesn't do that?)
I have to remind myself at times, that first and foremost I'm living for self.
Not living to pay bills, or to do tasks, or ect, no, I'm living for self, and that means taking care of my well being.
Cause no one else will, especially if alone and single and not in a relationship.
So if I waste 4 hours having fun, instead of paying a bill, at this stage of my life I could care the less.
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Post by Admin on Mar 21, 2022 16:06:50 GMT
I need to put something that's actually fun on the to do list today.
Or I just need to up and get out and go drive somewhere that's fun for me to be at.
Years ago, going to the Mall would of been a fun activity, today I wouldn't know what to do at a mall, I'd feel so very out of place probably.
Where exactly do older people go to have fun anymore who are exactly rich, but of the working class, I wonder.
Well time for some coffee (not a heavy coffee drinker at all but made some last night), and some breakfast, which for me, could just be 1-3 pecan nuts, or a few grapes, and that's it.
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Post by Admin on Apr 1, 2022 2:21:37 GMT
I have less than about 90 mins, if that, to enjoy my night before hitting the sac.
Maybe I'll make a 'to do list', at least try to get a few things done rather than just sitting here spacing off.
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Post by Admin on Apr 16, 2022 19:23:42 GMT
Today I will just keep working of the 'list' until something sticks.
So far nothing has stuck, nothing I've randomly landed on, on the to do list has struck my interest.
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Post by Admin on Apr 16, 2022 20:24:22 GMT
Food shop, came up on to do list, but I keep as little food in place as possible now, so have no need to go up to grocery store and spend 90 dollars on food, like I use to. Now, I can simply go up to the 'Gate' gas station and get a salad, maybe one other item, and it'll last me all day or more.  Well, they don't quite look like this, but you get my drift. My eating needs are simple now. Shopping for food is like an event to me now, I rarely go anymore unless have to. I don't even order home shopping, cause even with that you end up buying stuff just to buy it. |
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Post by Admin on Apr 16, 2022 20:53:28 GMT
Continued from above ⬆️⬆️⬆️
Heck, I may get up and out anyways, maybe it'll do me some good, and I do have a lottery ticket to cash.
Hmm, wonder if anyone won the big lotto jackpot yet?
------------------------------
I checked, and still to lazy to get dressed up and out, I've been out at work for last 3 days, I can at least sit home today and tonight, plenty of food, not going to starve.
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Post by Admin on May 22, 2022 3:15:41 GMT
I need to make a 'to do list', if I hope to get anything done tonight.
I'm off tomorrow, first day off after working last 3.
I work around some very bland ordinary people, most people are very ordinary and bland, at least in my field, which at the moment is driving.
Or at least those I'm stuck working around.
Warehouse and driving type of jobs don't exactly attract the most colorful people.
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Post by Admin on May 30, 2022 13:06:56 GMT
I'm going to need the 'to do list' to save me today, cause I don't feel like doing a single thing, not motivated to do anything.
I could sit here all day just starring into computer screen with fans blowing and be content...that's not productive though, so let me get started on the 'to do list', and hopefully get some inner spark going.
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Post by Admin on Jun 27, 2022 2:46:54 GMT
On the 'to do list', it came up for me to write a song, but just can't right now
If I were drunk or drinking I could, but I'm not, I'm sober, and so just not motivated to do so.
If drunk, I'd right like a 'attack' song, with subtle hints of revenge or irony, but I'm sober and realize being mean isn't good for thy or my soul.
When sober, my logical side tends to dominate, when drunk, the horns come out.
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Post by Admin on Jul 8, 2022 1:15:32 GMT
Well, I got everything done on the list except cleaning the front room.
I mean after making lunch, that was it.
I worked today, normally I might not even been in until now, got home a few hours early today, and just like that, that time is gone and ate up.
I wonder what it's like to have a family, and to never be alone?
I wonder if time goes by quicker or more slow?
I mean I'm so use to being alone, I can't imagine coming home to a house full of people, family, 2-4 muffins and a wife...I just can't (and a dog and a cat), I just can't imagine the type of energy that takes.
But I think 'Love' is a energy of its own, and if you love your family or the people you're with, I think that love just drives you to do more or not feel tired.
I always dreamed of, wanted, a large family of my own, but it just never happened...and could write a whole book on why I think it didn't, and maybe I will one day.
The closet I come to knowing what a large family is like is by watchng 90's sitcoms...I mean I sort of had one for a while growing up, but by high school it was busted up and older sisters and brothers went their own way, and parents divorced....but I did enjoy that nuclear family structure for a while, and it was wonderful, very much so, and I always wanted to replicate it, but just never met the right person at the right time.
Anyways, just never know what thoughts will come out when when writing about the 'to do list'...right now I just need to relax, enjoy what's left of the night, and prepare for tomorrow.
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Post by Admin on Aug 31, 2022 19:11:35 GMT
The only thing that can slightly salvage the day today is for me to create a 'to do list', cause if I don't, I'll just slouch around all day and into the night.
I drank booze last night, what a mistake...beer fine, but I had to also drank a small amount of Jim Bean, in like those really small bottles...I mean I didn't even drink the whole bottle, but wow, what a negative effect it had on me, and still is today.
But I don't want to spend rest of day feeling like this, so yep, maybe I'll drink some more beers...either way I have to work tomorrow.
What a throw away day, and it's totally my own fault.
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Post by Admin on Aug 31, 2022 19:13:52 GMT
Food shop, came up on to do list, but I keep as little food in place as possible now, so have no need to go up to grocery store and spend 90 dollars on food, like I use to. Now, I can simply go up to the 'Gate' gas station and get a salad, maybe one other item, and it'll last me all day or more. Well, they don't quite look like this, but you get my drift. My eating needs are simple now. Shopping for food is like an event to me now, I rarely go anymore unless have to. I don't even order home shopping, cause even with that you end up buying stuff just to buy it. I now avoid pre prepaired salads from corner stores, or at least the meat in them, which can be spoiled. In transit, the tempurature isn't always maintained. I think, or suspect, I may of gotten parasites or some other aiglment from eating the chicken or turkey in one of those salads. |
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Post by Admin on Oct 7, 2022 18:47:41 GMT
My boring 'to do list'
1. kitchen, 1, 6- 5
2. show, 3, 4, 5
3. Check on book, 3, 5, 6
4. trash bag change, 2, 4, 5
5. hall, clean 4, 5
6. Check on flight training (a dream) 4, 4, 5, 3
7. Amazon (order stuff) 1, 6- 3, 4
And I think I'll start there to get things moving.
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