Post work thoughts

Just got in from work, will maybe have an hour to self before have to bed down and do it again tomorrow.

Again, I keep this particular job only cause have to do it 3 times a week, normally, otherwise I'd of quit long time ago, it's a mindless driving job, where you're isolated all day long.
A job with no career path or growth, just a mindless driving job that pays the bills, and gives me extra days off, but the days I do work are very long, so when home, not much else you can do.

Although, I kind of miss have a job where you get home by 5, and have the whole evening to do whatever, but then you work more days per week.

And when I did have a job like that, I usually drank in the evening.

I don't know, I do know I need a positive change this year.

I'm years from retirement, and certainly don't have the wealth to retire early, yet I come home at times, most of the time, feeling so 'spent' and exhausted from work, and still relatively healthy....I'm just not sure how I'm going to have the health and vigor to continue to physically work into my 60's, or even mid to late 50's.
I think my retirement home will be a cardboard box on the streets..twylightzone.boards.net/thread/40/homelessness-good-bad-ugly-all?page=1

Just got in, my mood is odd lately...probably cause at last, I may have met someone who up to now, seems right for me, a female.
And it all seems like a dream to me, and I just expect it to end any day or minute, like I'll just wake up or something.

I'm so use to people just walking away from me, abandoning me in this dark world, that I'm just not sure what to make of this new friendship yet.
I've been single for so long, decades, that I'm kind of in shock.

Anyways, that aside, tomorrows gonna be a sucky day for me, a long day of driving, I already dread it.

What can I say, it's Wednesday, for a moment thought it was Thursday.
I worked today, drove today, just another unmeaningful day to me.

For some, who are loved, and have wonderful lives, every day is meaningful to them, but for me, it's a hit and miss, and usually when working, it's a miss.

But I'm home, only have about 30 minutes of useful time left, cause gotta do it again tomorrow.

Nothing big happened in the news today..
For memory sake, had some contractor up in attic yesterday, checking for tree damage, after a tree fell on roof last week, luckily no major damage.

ust got in from work, what a long, pretty much useless work day.
Ended kind of on a higher note than usual though, in that met a co-worker, a female one, who actually had some life in them.

That aside, long day, home now, maybe have an hour to myself before gotta bed down and do it again tomorrow.

Not in the cheeriest mood, as of late, a certain sadness has settled in over me.
I think it's just an accumulation of a lot of things not going right over the years.

Not much I can do about it, I mean I can't help whom fate puts around me.
Can't help that fate, always seems to move in next to me, anti social urban types, who never talk to their neighbors.

When home, black folks are not very social at all, at least not younger ones, if anything they're hyper paranoid and used to violence.

Home owners, older more mature types, different, of course.
But younger B urban types who move around me, just lack any type of social out going personalities.
If they don't already know you, forget about ever getting a hello.

My first neighbors here were just the opposite, a married couple, older B married couple, would cook extra food for me during the holidays, ect.
But they were older generation.

Today's generation, forget about it, they just don't have that same sense of community, family or tradition, marriage, ect.
It's a very empty, self serving generation for sure....just not sure why people like that always end up being my neighbors.