Happiness and Sadness

I'm happiest when I don't hesitate doing something I know has to be done anyways.

I'm happiest when I just do it, done with it, and move on.

I'm most sad or get sad when I dwell on what I'm suppose to do, and all the feared ramifications from doing it.

So to me, the more you hesitate, the more time you have to think, the more sad you will become.

But if just 'do it', and move on, life is better.

Sometimes happiness and sadness is not so blatant.

Happiness and Sadness can come in tones.

Like I think I feel tones of sadness, lately, just do to miniture set backs, and do to just not ever having anyone, a friend, to talk to anything about.

I'm always instead dumping my thoughts onto strangers, or people at work, and it can be demeaning, when you/I think about that.

A perfectly good, decent person, who has to call up strangers, or confide in strangers, or some random person at work, to communicate.

It's disquesting actually, but not much I can do about it.

I see street level guys/gals, walking down the street in the gutter, but at least they have each other, yet having 'another' for some of us just proves to be so very evasive, not sure why.

So, I just try to keep going, regardless, I mean what else can I do?

I really want to learn to be happy again, even when things go wrong, cause when sad, or unhappy, the only person who feels it is 'you'.

Is there ever really a good ending for any of us?
Seems as soon as born, cursed to have a bad ending.

Yes, no?

Ye, I just don't feel I have a home anymore, and at my age, that makes you feel a bit lost and hopeless.
And just tired of apartment life, cause no matter how much you pay for rent, urban types always slither in, and bring loud, unruly muffins with them, that scream and annoy the hell out of everyone.
And I really don't even like dogs in apartments either, leaving dog crap everywhere.
I may have to rent a house next for some peace of mind.
Would try to get a used RV, but RV parks, at least in Florida, are crammed pack like sardines in a can, I can't live that close up on others.

At this moment in time, and life, I can honestly say I have no more answers.
I have no idea what to do going forward, that would enhance my living experience.

I'm just not wanted in this world, valued by no one and nothing.

I have fallen into a alcohol induced depression, but the good news is, is that I'm in good enough health and shape that I can snap back from it in a few days.
I gotta go to work tomorrow, and even though I don't like my job anymore, sometimes just getting out of here is good, helps clear the mind, and allows for a mental and physical reset.

The thing about life, and getting older, is being sad and depressed, whether do to drinking or an event, or ect, does you, the person it's afflicting, absolutely no good, cause life will just continue to steamroll right over you.



The brutality of life just never stops, never slows down, and never shows you any mercy.
As such, being depressed and sad does nothing, other than make your own life harder.

And especially if a single older adult, there's no one to feel sorry for you, and or if don't have family, ect, no one will feel sorry for you at all, so why torture yourself by being sad, down and depressed?
And even if, when, you die, you'll be buried, or cremated, stuff thrown in trash, and you'll be gone, done, and forgotten forever, as if never here.

That being said, don't be depressed or sad, if you can help it, cause it does you no good.