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Post by Admin on Sept 25, 2023 17:38:51 GMT
Today is not very fun for me at all, how can I spice it up, other than by drinking. I drank yesterday, so now what? I'm living my life as if a teenager again, not sure why. Maybe cause I feel the future is hopeless or already determined, regardless of my planning or scurring about.
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Post by Admin on Oct 10, 2023 3:01:12 GMT
I've managed to waste all day doing absolutely nothing, wow... But sometimes I think maybe that's not always so bad, the fact that I can do nothing, and be OK, maybe is a good sign...who knows.
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Post by Admin on Oct 22, 2023 12:58:05 GMT
I just need 'today' to be still...
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Post by Admin on Oct 31, 2023 14:11:42 GMT
It's Halloween.The world is becoming a uglier place to me, or I should say my own personally reality is what's becoming uglier to me, as such, I'm gonna have to make a attitude shift. Yep, when things become unbearable to 'you', that's when you have to shift your attitude in order to deal with it. Sometimes you may even have to go into 'robot mode'... What that means is setting aside emotions, and just doing what 'you' have to do to get through whatever season you're going through. I'm going to have to go into robot mode for a while, and put feelings aside, feelings of fear, anxioty, ect. I've got to go into robot mode, or Spock/Vulcan mode, to get through this period.
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Post by Admin on Nov 22, 2023 14:31:46 GMT
I wake up today, woke up today, just kind of wondering why I'm even here anymore. What is my purpose anymore, other than to pay basic utility bills, and to show up to a job I no longer enjoy.
Family? I really have none of my own, and my so called extended family has zero interest in me, I'm not really in any of their lives, do to distance and other factors, we've just all grown apart, they have siblings of their own, and I mean zero to all of them.
Today's generation, some, just aren't family orientated like days of old, and or now people come from Matriarchal families, and really don't have a need for older males.
But ye, today is here, but sometimes I'm like why am I?
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Post by Admin on Nov 23, 2023 15:20:00 GMT
It's Thanksgiving dayIt's T-day, again. And as usual, I will spend it alone (used to it) And I plan on staying sober today (that's the plan anyways) I need to get my body and mind right, again. I'm not happy or sad today, I'm just here, and glad I'm not working. Would rather be bored at home than working a job I can't stand. I may go workout later, in the park, do a few laps, stretch. I guess I'm still thankful for my ______. I often feel if you say what you're thankful for aloud, than evil or god or some other entity will then take it away from you. Anyways, not much else to say, a bit cold inside of place this morning, with space heater blowing at legs. Just got up, sat up, following a night and morning of extensive dreams, I mean my gosh, even Sean Hannity was in one of my dreams...yuk. I got two turkey legs I just through in a bot and boiled a few nights ago, I'll eat those today, but I do also have a taste for some cranberries, but not the gel kind....I may have to settle for cranberry flavored juice instead. Anyways, time to get on with the day that I'm still here and alive to do as I please with. Oh, and if want to stay in a decent mood today, just avoid the news headlines. I think Satan has taken over all news agencies...lol.
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Post by Admin on Jan 6, 2024 13:07:36 GMT
Another long cold day in front of me, oh well..
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Post by Admin on Mar 1, 2024 13:09:08 GMT
Yep, today is here alright, and I've never felt so detached from reality. And on top of that, I've got to get up and go do some mindless work (driving) where I'm alone all day, with no one to talk to. I hope this mundane work routine of mind ends soon, but in a positive manner.
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Post by Admin on Mar 1, 2024 14:03:50 GMT
Life can really take on a long meaningless vibe, after a certain age, if don't continually challenge yourself, or loved, or have others to love.
Isolation can be a scourge to a happy vibrant spirit within.
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