Today is here

I've managed to waste all day doing absolutely nothing, wow...

But sometimes I think maybe that's not always so bad, the fact that I can do nothing, and be OK, maybe is a good sign...who knows.

It's Halloween.

The world is becoming a uglier place to me, or I should say my own personally reality is what's becoming uglier to me, as such, I'm gonna have to make a attitude shift.

Yep, when things become unbearable to 'you', that's when you have to shift your attitude in order to deal with it.

Sometimes you may even have to go into 'robot mode'...



What that means is setting aside emotions, and just doing what 'you' have to do to get through whatever season you're going through.

I'm going to have to go into robot mode for a while, and put feelings aside, feelings of fear, anxioty, ect.
I've got to go into robot mode, or Spock/Vulcan mode, to get through this period.

It's Thanksgiving day



It's T-day, again.
And as usual, I will spend it alone (used to it)

And I plan on staying sober today (that's the plan anyways)
I need to get my body and mind right, again.

I'm not happy or sad today, I'm just here, and glad I'm not working.
Would rather be bored at home than working a job I can't stand.

I may go workout later, in the park, do a few laps, stretch.
I guess I'm still thankful for my ______.
I often feel if you say what you're thankful for aloud, than evil or god or some other entity will then take it away from you.

Anyways, not much else to say, a bit cold inside of place this morning, with space heater blowing at legs.
Just got up, sat up, following a night and morning of extensive dreams, I mean my gosh, even Sean Hannity was in one of my dreams...yuk.

I got two turkey legs I just through in a bot and boiled a few nights ago, I'll eat those today, but I do also have a taste for some cranberries, but not the gel kind....I may have to settle for cranberry flavored juice instead.

Anyways, time to get on with the day that I'm still here and alive to do as I please with.

Oh, and if want to stay in a decent mood today, just avoid the news headlines.
I think Satan has taken over all news agencies...lol.

Yep, today is here alright, and I've never felt so detached from reality.
And on top of that, I've got to get up and go do some mindless work (driving) where I'm alone all day, with no one to talk to.
I hope this mundane work routine of mind ends soon, but in a positive manner.

Monday realities, my own



Monday realities, my own.
It's already 1 pm, wow, just been waddling around in the bed all morning and afternoon.

I fell off track last week...started drinking beer again, but have since stopped...(Hopefully)
I mean heck, I had some beer last night, but have since dumped remaining beer down the drain, it's time for me to get back on track.

Thankfully since I'm already in decent shape, I can recover a lot faster than if I weren't in shape....I even got in a short but decent workout this morning.

Anyways, I've got some work to do on my moral this morning.
I have no one to lift me up other than myself.

Anyways, it's Monday, all the corporate monsters are awake, calculators at work, repo people at work, bill collectors back at it, billing cycles restarted...everything ugly about society is awake and running again today on this Monday.

Tuesday



Yes, it's Tuesday, it's also October. I haven't had time to get into the October spirit yet, or the Halloween spirit, been so preoccupied with other stuff.
But to be honest, it's just do to my very poor management of time.
I'm terrible at managing my own time.

Today I will try to get some stuff done and focus, but I always say that.
I've gotta prepare for a trip, a flight, presentation, and more.
I still have to buy some clothes, some pants, and more...still have to check my bank records, and more.
I need to snap out of my mental lazy spell...running out of time is like being sucked into a vortex.



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Anyways, also hurricane is approaching, hopefully won't be affected by it much, but you never know, and I hope the flight I'm supposed to catch isn't cancelled or delayed as a result...I have a small window.

And after the 20th of this month, I have no idea what follows, literally I don't.
Move, stay, get a job...I have no idea, I just know it won't be fun for me, change is never fun when you get older.
When you get older you just want stability...and when you find a place that's stable, you want it to last forever, but it doesn't.

The thing is, I know to much about human nature now and people to want to move.
When younger, you feel sexy, you feel as if you're gods gift to the world and that everyone should be delighted to have you around...but decades of observing human behavior, biases, etc, you realize not so.
It's just when younger, our ignorance shields us from reality.

Anyways, enough babbling, it's time to put the day in gear and get some stuff done.

It's Tuesday, and it's October, Halloween is right around the corner.