50+ blog, journal and thoughts

Got off work feeling grouchy this night

I don't like being grouchy at the end of my work shift, cause the only one my grouchy mood effects is me.
That being said, I'm so ready to get away from it all, the traffic, the noise, the industry, it's just all stress to me now.

Then when get home, notice on door about renewing lease, and of course it's going up, rent that it.
Rent has more than doubled since I've been here...F greed, and F capitalism if capitalism means driving people into the streets who can't afford rent.

It's why so many 'street people' habitat hotels and motels now, cause so many can't afford to live in a house or apartment.

I mean they tore down one hotel, do to crime, then rebuilt it, opened it back up, and when I drive by I see the same street people there now that were there before.

I just wish I could leave the city, the cities are now just becoming a collection of whatever.
I just don't want no part of the city anymore, not in today's social climate.

Well, in my older years, I've wasted yet another day doing nothing and drinking.
I still live life as if a teenager, but I'm not.
Even though sometimes still get carded when buy booze.

When I shave, I guess I do still look pretty young.

I really do need to learn Spanish, but brain is just to lazy to learn new language at my age...

Seems the things I enjoy to do outside of being on the computer, are like zero, now days.

When on computer I can access the world, project my art, my brand, ect, but once I leave my place, for whatever reason, that's when I feel so very small.
But yet the roads are filled with cars coming to and fro.

I think when have others in your life, that's when it's still fun to go out and do stuff...but when alone, going out is overrated, especially as you get older....unless filthy rich that is and have super cool nice vehicles and other toys.

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Whenever you meet someone whom you like, the day before, while drunk or drinking, it always feels like a dream.
You ask yourself 'did it really happen, did I finally meet that one special person'?

Time will tell, I suppose.

I mean with all the mass shootings occuring, the street crime, car jackings, China threatening this nation, the Ukraine war, Putin threatening nukes, gangs, the Mexican Cartel, disease, homelessness, wokeness, and more, if someone sees me as being more of a threat than all of the above combined, than it's them I pity.