50+ blog, journal and thoughts

At a very hard juncture in my life's path.

I told myself, about a year ago, I never wanted to ever again be stuck, while still alive....meaning a slave to the system, meaning at the mercy of the system, meaning having to pay high rent, thus having to work a job I despise in order to pay that rent.

I did that for years, it's meaningless, unless have a family you're raising.
But if single, it's meaningless just to work just to work just to pay bills while saving absolutely nothing.

Where the only time your checking account grows is during tax season when you get a refund.

I can't do that no more.

My options are as follows

1. Just up and move.
Sometimes you just have to up and get the hell out of a place and change environments completely in order to find new motivation. It's never an easy thing to do, especially when older.

2. Buy a used RV, travel trailer, etc, and live out of it.
RV lot rents aren't a low as they used to be, but can still save money with an RV more so than paying rent, but have to get used to living on the 'lamb' for a while and doing without certain comforts...for sure.
Having a RV will help me never to feel 'trapped' by the system. And with homelessness rampant in many cities and towns, often times if find the right spot to camp, can do so for free while continuing to work full time or part-time and saving up for some land or school or this or that.
All an expensive apartment does, at my age, is eat up what's left of my dreams, money, cash.

3. Stay where I'm at and take one more risk and start my own online business...if it works, great, if not, it'll just be one in a long list of other things I've tried and failed at, only if I fail at this, I'm back to being a slave. Can I live with that??

It's a total gamble.

The money I'd spend to hire a professional web designer is basically the same amount it would cost me to move coast to coast using a U-Haul, and or 3 months worth of rent, and or any other emergency that might come up.

Life is no fun when you've depleted your savings, and the clock starts a ticking.
I just can't go forward working any ole job anymore that sucks up all my time, where I come home to grouchy to want to do anything meaningful, and more months, years, just fly by while I accomplish absolutely nothing.

4. could always just go live in someone's room, smaller space, for around 6oo.oo, doesn't make sense to pay much more than that for a room.

Decisions decisions...there is no right decision, and that's what makes it so hard...cause with each decision comes so many other variables to consider or that could happen outside of your, my, our, control.

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I just know when always rushed for money, it totally robs me of my creative side, if all I'm thinking about is a pay check and paying this or that bill, it just kills your spirit, you come home, and all you want to do is drink to escape the pain of a lousy life.
I don't want to go back to that.

And I'm old enough to realize just wishing for something, a good outcome, and or praying that 'God' will give you the good outcome you want doesn't guarantee anything...at least not for me.

Either way, I've gotta make a decision here soon, within days, or I'll be stuck here for another 6-7 months which = 7 thousand dollars minimum in rent and expenses, then what?

It would help if I wasn't alone, and had someone to plan with, but I don't.
And if I fall, no one will give a sht, I mean no one, if anything they'll quietly cheer.

Sometimes it's why it's easier for me to make big decisions when drunk, cause you just do it, and then have to deal with it later.

Thursdays come and go



It's Halloween!

Even though not having the best of it right now (at least in my own mind) I think I'll go to the store and get a few Halloween masks, to wear through out the rest of the year for funny pictures and all.

But if I buy them today, it'll seem normal, if I buy them later, I'll seem odd...lol

Anyways, gotta get going...no more booze, at least not for a very long time.

I did go workout, and I feel better.
Paid my storage fee, and stopped by Burger King on the way home.
Hamburger was sliced in half, so I returned it.

I shouldn't be eating that stuff anyhow.

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I still have a lot of day left, the question is can I keep myself motivated?
Can I keep my mood up?
Can I stay focused and get stuff done?
That's the question.

And most importantly, can I get through the day, and the night, without drinking a few beers?
I hope so.

How does it feel to be over the age of 50?



www.spreaker.com/episode/how-does-it-feel-to-be-over-the-age-of-50--62687664

How does it feel to be over the age of 50?
If under 50, listen to this Gen X podcast episode and learn...lol

Paper applications suck, video resumes will be a thing of the future



Reach out now, and learn how you can be among the first to place your VR online.
Don't fall behind the curve.

Biden administration trying to create WW3, if I were Trump



The Biden admin is bent on getting millions killed by inciting Russia into a nuclear war by allowing NATO to now launch long range missiles into Russia from Ukraine.

If I were President Trump.

1. I would tell the Ukrainian president Zelensky, that if he orders a strike deep within Russias interior at military sensitive area, that once I'm in office, all future aid to be cut off....period.

2. I'd reach out to Putin and tell him to not be lured into war before I get into office where I can broker a peace deal and save many lives.

Now the Biden admin, on their way out, is playing with many lives, but mainly the lives of those nation states bordering Russia.